


When I'm so used to feeling wrong (It makes me feel alright)

by Bitterbees (Bung)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Accepting Tony Stark, Beta Read, Bider-Man, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Gen, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony makes dad jokes, but so does peter, does whatever a bider does, if you ship starker and you even look at this fic I will stomp you to death with my hooves, is this self indulgent? absolutely. do i care?, no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bung/pseuds/Bitterbees
Summary: Okay, it wasn't that Peter thought Mr. Stark was going to never speak to him again after finding out or anything. He just...didn't want things to be different, y'know? Coming out is a big deal and Peter isn't sure how up to the task he is.orPeter wants to come out to Tony, and is worried how he'll react.(p.s. - its all okay.)
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 28
Kudos: 169





	When I'm so used to feeling wrong (It makes me feel alright)

**Author's Note:**

> For those who don't know, the fic title is from a song by dodie (who i am SO gay for) called rainbow! I literally cannot stop using song lyrics with brackets as titles, both fics ive published are titled that way aswell as two of my wips. its becoming a bit of a problem.

Peter’s heart was practically jumping out of his chest.

He knew that, objectively, he had nothing to worry about. This was _Mr. Stark._ Peter could tell him anything. Still, he fiddled with his hands, and as he did so he could feel how sweaty they were - and for the love of god would his knees stop shaking? He tried to wipe the sweat on his palms onto his jeans but it just felt awkward and weird and although it got rid of the sweat already there, Peter soon found that it proved redundant as his hands became sweaty once more. 

He needed to just shake his nerves. He hadn’t been nervous around Mr. Stark since the first few times he had met him. Well, aside from two weeks ago, when Peter had made the (in hindsight, terrible) decision to attempt to hide a somewhat minor stab wound from him. Yeah, Peter decidedly didn’t enjoy lab time with Mr. Stark immediately after he had discovered Peter had gotten himself (only lightly) stabbed, which according to Mr. Stark is “not possible” and that there was “no such thing as being _a little_ stabbed.” Peter had disagreed.

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter said under his breath, riding up the elevator alone. “You know how some people are gay? Oh, you do? Great. I-” 

The elevator dinged, and came to a stop. Peter watched as the doors slid open, unable to move. Perhaps if he never moved from the spot he was standing in, time would stop too and he would never have to deal with anything ever again. His toes felt heavy and stayed rooted to the ground, his neck trying to lean forward, but somehow the lump in his throat, and the way his jaw was clenched kept his head from moving. He stayed there for what felt like forever, though rationally he knew it was probably less than half a minute. 

Somehow, he managed to step out of the elevator doors. He wondered whether FRIDAY would have closed them if he had waited long enough. He suspected not. 

He set his backpack down, the same place he always does, next to the left side of the couch closest to the elevator he had just exited. It's a routine he’s used to, something he does every week when he comes for lab time. 

He knows that he’s being paranoid and unreasonable, it wasn’t like Mr. Stark would never speak to him again or something, but a little part of him wonders whether everything would be different after he tells him.

In his head, he’s repeating different ways to tell him over and over again. He knows that he wants to say it out loud. He knows that he wants Mr. Stark to know. He also knows that if he doesn’t say it now, he won’t for a very long time. He’s so deep in thought, he doesn’t realise when he opens the door to the next room, that someone is already in it. 

“Hey Pete!”

Oh god. He was not ready. He just needed a few more minutes to gather all his thoughts, but Mr. Stark was in front of him. Peter whipped his head up, wide eyed, to face him. Tony was stuffing his phone into his pocket, getting up from where he was sitting to walk with Peter. 

Peter knew instantly that Mr. Stark noticed that something was up. Peter was aware of the fact that he was easy to read, but it was times like these that he desperately wished he wasn’t so. 

Mr. Stark furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “You alright kid?” He asked. Peter nodded - perhaps a little too quickly to be natural - he saw Mr. Stark’s eyebrows furrow further as he looked Peter up and down with scepticism.

“I just remembered - realised, I need to pee. Yeah.” Peter said entirely too fast, and dashed off before Mr. Stark could say more than “Hey, wait-”.

* * *

Peter had always seen it in movies - the main character gets overwhelmed and splashes water on their face. To ground themselves or whatever.

As it turns out, splashing water on himself made a huge difference. He was still immensely stressed and nervous, but he was also now wet. And a little cold. Plus, there was water dripping off his chin onto (and down) his shirt, which just made him even more wet, cold and uncomfortable. So, yeah. Everything was good. Why did he think this was a good idea again?

He sat down on the edge of the bathtub. 

Peter’s hands ran through his hair, the water on his forehead and his palms being pushed into it, slicking it back so that it looked funny - he could just see it in the mirror, if he leaned a little to the left from his position on the edge of the bathtub.

He stared at his reflection for a moment. All he could see was his stupid looking hair, parts of which were sticking up in an ungodly manner, so he stood up again.

Attempting to fix his hair only made it worse. 

He let out a quiet sigh, accepting that this was his hair now.

A soft knock on the door startled Peter more than it should have. What was the point of having a Spidey-Sense if it didn’t even work?

It was a moment of even more surprise when he realised he had gotten so distracted with his wet hair that he had let Mr. Stark slip his mind. 

He eyed the window. It was a little small, but he could probably fit through. Once he got outside he’d be a little high up for his liking, but it was nothing he hadn’t done before. He didn’t have his suit on him, so he couldn’t cover his face, but people don’t really look upwards that much anymore, do they? 

Another knock, this time a little heavier.

“Peter? Are you okay in there?” Mr. Stark asked through the door. Peter turned towards the door, forgetting about his atrocious hair.

“Yeah.” He paused. “Uh, kind of.” He said honestly. He was no longer thinking about leaving and was instead moving closer towards where Mr. Stark was.

“You want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Yeah. I do.”

Mr. Stark was silent for a second. 

“You were never actually peeing though, right?”

Peter made a noise that he wouldn’t like to refer to as a giggle. “No, I was not.”

“Good, ‘cause it would be really embarrassing if I had asked and-oh. Hey kid.” The door had been opened, and Mr. Stark was looking at Peter with a concerned expression on his face.

“Hi Mr. Stark. Sorry about...well, y’know.” Peter apologised, his hand still lingering on the doorknob.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you came out of the bathroom to talk though.” Mr. Stark said.

Peter didn’t think he’d be able to look him in the eye. He fiddled with his hands, desperately wishing he had something to hold.

“Yeah...that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.” He said, still not looking up. Mr. Stark looked confused.

“You wanted to talk about being in the bathroom?” He asked incredulously, leaning around Peter to see if there was anything behind him in there. 

“No, more the...coming out part. Except, instead of coming out of a bathroom, coming out of...” Time slowed. Peter looked up at Mr. Stark to see his confused expression still very much there. Peter’s mouth was dry and unable to speak, and he was trying his best to push the words out of his unmoving mouth when he finally said: “...the closet.”

Mr. Stark was silent for what felt like some of the most terrifying couple of seconds in Peter’s life. He was holding his breath in anxious anticipation, when Mr. Stark finally spoke, only a word, in a soft voice.  
“Yeah?” He had asked. A small, yet encouraging smile was all Peter needed to know that everything was okay.

“Yeah. I’m bi.” Peter could finally breathe. He said it. He had actually said it out loud. Mr. Stark knew.“...Sexual.” He added awkwardly for clarification that wasn’t needed. “I’m bisexual.” 

He thought saying the full word might have made the whole thing sound less weird but it really didn’t. Weird or not, Peter was ecstatic that Mr. Stark was okay with it. Peter had forgotten how good it felt to come out to someone that he trusts when he wanted to and even though it didn’t go super smoothly, he could finally make bi jokes and talk to Mr. Stark about cute boys and that feeling could not be described other than _good_ , and Peter wondered why he was worried in the first place. Except, yes, he definitely knows why, but the feeling of relief and joy that washed over him made him briefly forget because Mr. Stark knew and better yet, was supportive. 

Mr. Stark smirked widely. “Hi Bisexual. Nice to meet you. I’m Tony.”

Peter’s face dropped. Any remotely kind thoughts he had been thinking about Mr. Stark went out the window. 

“Seriously? You’re really gonna do that now?”

Mr. Stark had the audacity to laugh. Peter could have sworn he could physically see Mr. Stark’s dad joke power growing. 

“I’m sorry. Do you want me to _bi_ you something as an apology gift?”

“I think you forget sometimes that I can stop a car with my bare hands, and I could absolutely beat you in a fight. As long as you don’t have your suit.”

Mr. Stark smiled, this time more genuine than the scheming grin of a man that knew he was about to make a terrible joke. “You wouldn’t do that. I’m Iron Man.” He pulled Peter in for a hug before quietly saying, “I hope you know I’m proud of you kid. Really.”

“I know. Thank you Mr. Stark.” Peter said, pulling only a little out of the hug so that he could see Mr. Stark’s face. 

“Good. You know you can tell me anything, right?” Mr. Stark said, both his voice and his expression soft. Peter smiled, one part still incredulous due to the awful joke Mr. Stark had made, and two parts grateful that Mr. Stark was the way he was.

“Yeah. I do.”

Mr. Stark ruffled Peter’s hair, and they both headed off towards the workshop.

“I actually have in mind something we can build.” Mr. Stark said as they were leaving the room.

“Oh yeah?”

“A _bi_ cycle. Get it?”

“Yeah Mr. Stark, I got it. As if you would ever actually build a _bicycle_.”

“You know what? We really are going to build a bike now. Sorry Parker, you asked for it.”

Peter rolled his eyes, but laughed all the same. After all, he had recently gotten some bicycle parts sent to the lab to deliver a similar punchline.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! the last fic i uploaded (which was also my first ever fic i've published!) got so much love and all the comments really motivated me to write more! I feel like i take forever to write even just a really short one shot mostly because i go back so much and fix little parts so its the best that it can be!
> 
> also thank you very much to my sister, myarchivelol for beta reading this! I had like 50 more italics in it and she made me take them out :( probably for good reason but i miss them.
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at bitter-bees !


End file.
